Your Ad Here




EB2281
February 2nd 1981  (Age 33)
Male
Katy
   

<< September 2014 >>
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 01 02 03 04 05 06
07 08 09 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30


Thank you for taking a visit into my thoughts. I know it was hard for you since they're so strange, but at least you have documented proof that someone in the world is more crazy than you. Remember to enter your email address to get notice of new entries.

If you want to be updated on this weblog Enter your email here:



rss feed



Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Music Sucks


I love music. It speaks to me, neutralizes my bad emotions, sends me on mental vacations and even creates involuntary muscle movements like a heartbeat or a breath. So when I listen to what these record companies are forcing us to listen to today it sickens me. I recently heard all the excitement around the new Britney Spear's single and against my better judgment, I actually listened to it. It sounds just like the other (expletive) that she has released. I'm not understanding the hype. Then folks are all excited about the Britney, Beyonce and Lady Gaga releases this coming year. I would really like these (expletive) to sit down for a minute and let me regroup, not them, but me. Beyonce did take a break so I guess I can deal with her, but I'm sure it's only for a small window. At one time, she was on my TV so damn much, that I wanted to run up on that (expletive) with some scissors and cut all her hair off. Luckily, she sat down somewhere. See, these ladies know that their music doesn't have any substance because they must continually release music or else they will be forgotten. Real musicians can take breaks and still come back strong, such as Sade, Maxwell, etc.


I mean take Rhianna. She has been out for like 5 years straight and the only time she was remotely quiet was after she and Chris were reenacting scenes from "What's Love Got to Do with It" and Chris got too much into character. She then was seen hitting up every party in sight and then right before she releases her album, she then wants to talk about the incident and be a warning to little girls. No, heifer, if you wanted to be a light to little girls, then you should've came on TV while you were looking what the Roadrunner would look like if he was ever caught by the coyote. Doesn't she look like the Roadrunner to you? She looks like the roadrunner and an alpaca had sex. On top of that, she sounds horrible. I envision if a mosquito could sing it would sound something like her. Maybe, it would sound a lot like her. Ok, damnit they could harmonize and you wouldn't hear the difference. OkÖ I forgot where I was going with this. Oh yeah, we are being fed crap by these companies and yet they are raising prices and even putting less songs on a CD. No wonder people are bootlegging stuff. I said people, not me, so the RIAA does not need to come snooping around my IP address. All I'm saying is put some substance in your song. Don't think about just becoming a pop star, thing about becoming a legend and leaving a legacy.


Here are some of my favorite youtube performances












Posted at 7:49 pm by EB2281
Comments (2)  

Reiki Massage

Reiki Massage.

Iím trying to do things differently this year by venturing more into realm of alternative medicine and last Friday I tried my first Reiki massage. Now a Reiki healing is the usage of spiritual energy through the hands to heal a person's aura or situation. The usual treatment of Reiki massage begins at the head and works its way through the seven different chakras. It is usually low to no physical contact during these sessions. Now when I first saw that my doctorís office had these, I was a bit put off by it, because there was barely any contact, and I felt like bruised fruit from soreness. Later on in the day, I heard someone talking about a reiki session and then I saw it on ďModern FamilyĒ that night. I took it as a sign that I need to go ahead and try it out.

I pretty much have an open mind about things so I knew the session would pretty much rock and it did. It was an awesome experience for someone who knows nothing about me to tell me things about myself. So from her diagnostic, she felt my third eye was very open and attuned to alternative methods, meaning I would be very receptive to todayís session. DUH? Not a hard one to guess, but I told myself to shut up and be receptive. She also saw that my energy already flowed in the right direction so I didnít need much correction. I was a little disappointed about that because I wanted to be messed up so I could really feel a difference once she was done, but then also I was proud because my (expletive) was together, lol. So she gets to work and at one point during my session, I started thinking about work and she instantly noticed and told me that my energy started flowing in the wrong direction. Now for her to feel that as soon as I lost concentration was awesome. She also said that she got dizzy when hovering over the right side of my body, meaning I hold in a lot of stress and I need to slow down a bit. It does take a while for me to let things go, but I already thought I was moving pretty slow. Any slower and it would be in reverse. She informed me that we take in things on the left side of the body and release them on the right. Therefore, I need to do a better job of releasing. . It does take a while for me to let things go, but I already thought I was moving pretty slow. Any slower and it would be in reverse. As we moved further into the session, she asked me if I had been having stomach issues and I told her yes. She asked me that because while over my stomach she wanted to scratch the area, meaning it was causing her some irritation. Also, the last thing she noticed was the tension in my neck, which has been caused from crappy pillows which I need to rectify today. Once she got my energy flowing back in the right direction, I could actually feel something shooting from my toes. The rest of the session went smoothly and I will definitely being doing one of these again, especially if Iím feeling stressed.
  

Posted at 2:59 pm by EB2281
Comments (2)  

Sunday, January 09, 2011
Getting Healthy in 2011

So the first week of the New Year is over and after only 3 days of work this past week, I just knew it was February already, but fortunately, I was wrong. Yay! I hope that I will get to revel in each and everyday this year and not wake up and it is December again. Any who, as stated in the previous blog, this first week is all about starting out on a new path and for many people that new path is all about being healthy. While I do applaud people trying to improve themselves, I do wish they would just stay the hell out of my way.

By no means do I claim to me a skinny man, and according to my Wii Fit, I am obese. (Expletive) you Wii! Ok, Iím calm now. However, now the gym is overcrowded with my overweight brethren who are now making me wait for my elliptical machine. All year, I can walk in the gym and get my work out done with hardly any problems, but now I spend most of my time waiting on stuff. This is why, I chose not to go to the gym during the month of January because I just get pissed. Why not just start doing something easy, like walking in the neighborhood or bike riding? That way you wonít waste your money because itís something you wonít quite in a month and you can stay the hell out of my way. Plus, I donít have to worry about having to put my CPR in to play. Itís been 3 years since I had the class, so I donít believe you want me to be the first responder.

A while back, I was in the gym at about 5 in the morning, and there was this dude in the gym with one of those special Taebo shirts. You know the type of shirt where it shows your nipples so it defeats the point of having a shirt on in the first place. So Iím like why is he wearing that (expletive) in here this early? Ainít nobody in here for him to impress. Then I see the dude was all shiny and (expletive) RRRRR?. You know how the bodybuilders are when they are in competition, looking like they have put on a clear coat of nail polish everywhere. Yeah, that was him. I tried giving him the benefit of doubt by thinking dude mustíve been working out hard and heís just perspiring. So dude walks past me and I got a strong whiff of baby oil. Shut the (expletive) up! You mean to tell me this Negro put on this training bra and rubbed down in baby oil to come to the gym at 5am! For who? Ainít nobody in here but old people and me! By me trying to hold in that laughter, I lost my footing on the elliptical and fell. I just walked out the gym from there because I couldnít focus no more.


Healthcare these days is scary. Just look at the commercials for all these drugs on TV. It seems as if the side effects of these drugs are far worse than the ailment that you are trying to cure. You know what; I think I would rather have that headache instead of having my eyes bleed and explosive diarrhea. That type of (expletive) (pun intended) just doesnít look well at work. Well over the past year and a half, I have been trying a new approach to a healthier me, and that has been through my chiropractor. Since I have been receiving regular adjustments and been on a regimen of organic supplements, I have been feeling great. I am less susceptible to allergy seasons, no more acid reflux, more energy, and I can sleep through the entire night. I donít even have to get up and use the restroom. Did you know that you are not supposed to get up and use the restroom in the middle of the night? Hell, I didnít either. But I digress, there have been times where I have gone to my medical physician and he just prescribed drugs so easily, where as a good adjustment and laser therapy would cure my ailment without putting chemicals into my body. I mean heís quick to throw a drug sample at me. Iím not saying to forgo medicine altogether, because there are drugs and surgeries that are lifesaving, but I do think people need to be a little more cautious about we take care of ourselves. Sometimes doctors just treat the symptoms and not the source. For example, if your oil light comes on in your car, the problem is not at the light, itís in your engine. So the pain in your arm, might not necessarily means something is wrong w/ your arm. The problem could be somewhere else. So when youíre having discussions with your physician and heís not talking about diet, exercise, or source driven cures, and instead peddling medicine, then maybe think about a new physician.


Below is a hilarious KFC commercial about their new hot wings. For those of you who ask, why I am talking about health in this entry and somehow found a video of a funny KFC commercial, I say mind your damn business. How about that?


Posted at 10:27 am by EB2281
Make a comment  

Saturday, January 01, 2011
Happy 2011!!!

Itís a New Year folks and Iím trying to get back into the swing of things here. It has been over 2 years since my last blog entry and I can truly attest to the statement that time does fly. If there was a mode of transport faster than flying, Iím sure time would do that too since he is such a crafty little bastard. Since itís the New Year, it is resolution time. My resolutions all center on being more present in 2011. This past year I was over stimulated mentally, with work, TV, internet, etc. This year I want my mind to be more in harmony with the universe. Therefore, I need to spend more quiet time meditating, reading books, and enjoying nature. In addition, I feel I need to get back into blogging. Itís my free therapy! I think all this will help me cut down on stress levels and in turn delay my nervous breakdown that will ultimately land me in jail. I just donít need to embarrass my mom with news video of her son dancing naked on the 1-10 median during rush hour traffic. So to kick off the New Year right, let me give you a couple of my random observations from over the past couple of months.

So the last part of the year is the worst time to try to kick off healthy eating habits. In October, I vowed to start getting things in order because the four months I worked the oil spill reeked havoc on me. Well aside from the holidays being major roadblocks, I never realized that 4Q of each year is when these fast food restaurants bring out all these inventive ways to kill you. I mean they had all these new hamburgers coming out as if they were new model cars, and anyone who knows me, knows I love a good burger. My greedy ass was just staring at the TV salivating. Somehow, it made my carrot/apple juice less appealing. I had to stop watching TV shows in real time so that I could speed through commercials or else I wouldíve driven around town and ďtest droveĒ every new burger.

In November( also in February and May), TV stations go Sweeps, where they put their best television foot forward in order to get good ratings to determine how much they will be charging for commercials. Being a lover of some good TV, I love these months, but what I donít like about Sweeps is the propensity of the local and national news programs to get you to watch their programs with these shocking investigative reports. Case in point, one day Iím just getting in the house from the gym and am ready to (expletive) a glass of water up. I mean I am just about to turn the glass up and a commercial from the local news says, ďYour drinking water could kill you. More on Thursday at 11Ē. Damnit itís Monday! What the (expletive) am I going to do until then? My mouth is dryer than 3-year-old fruitcake, and this idiot just told me not to drink my water and heíll tell me why in 3 days. I just drank the water anyway. Iíve been drinking it for 4 years now, and if it was going to be that acute to kill me in 3 days, then Iím sure the bastard wouldíve thought it was important enough to tell me right then.

Since I feel that 75% of the worldís population is stupid, I feel that some rights should be given to people in order to thwart those people from exercising their stupidity in public. I think that each person in the world should be allowed to slap one person a year without repercussions. If someone pisses you off enough, you should be able to reach back and slap the taste from their mouth without any criminal charges, and the person canít hit you back, unless they have their free slap too. I can see many people being slapped in December because people have held onto their slaps until the end of the year and being that itís Christmas which seems to bring the worst of out people, it would be warranted. In addition, I think you should be able to give you slap to someone if you donít plan to use it. I can just see a black market of slaps being traded across the world. People trading children and ish just to bust a lip. I for one would definitely invest in about 5 or 6 myself. Hell, Iíll even give blood for it. I just donít like stupid people. I also feel that you can substitute your slap for ramming someone in traffic. I personally would like to ram all the cars (except the first one) that pause when traffic lights turn green, meaning that I have to wait through 3 light cycles for a line of 10 cars. YES, I do have some rage issues.

Posted at 2:14 pm by EB2281
Make a comment  

Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Random Observation 8-20-2008

Yo peoples!  How's you be?  I'm good, just coming out of a couple of months slumber.  See, I write my best blogs at work, but for some reason I have more work to do now.  I think somebody snitched on me.  It's ok though, I will persevere.  Well, let's get to looking at the world through my sick and twisted mind.

 

I had to go get me a drink today folks.  I don't usually hit the libations on my own, but I got some disturbing news today.  I mean I had to go and meditate for a minute once I heard it.  I need you to brace yourself.  Warner Brothers moved the release of the new Harry Potter movie from November 2008 to July 2009! I was looking more towards that than I was the damn election!  WB claims that they will have less competition next summer since the writers' strike of this year has halted some movies from coming out next summer.  HELLO?  This is Harry Potter!  There is no competition. I swear they suck more than a $2 ho whose rent is due on Friday.

 

I see that gas prices are moving down a bit.  I'm feeling a bit better about that one.  It was becoming too much.  I was to the point where I was debating about going into work or not every morning.  Well I would do that if gas was free.   But I digress,  a friend of mine was telling about how she was pulled behind this guy at the pump and he had this pimped out car.  Once she pulled up to the pump she says that showed he pumped like $20 worth of gas, lol.  I'm like damn! This wasn't a small car; this was one of them old gas guzzlers.  At the time that was about 3 gallons and some change worth of gas.  I used to drive a 66 Fleetwood Cadillac. For those who knew me then, it was called the Grey Ghost.  

Photobucket

That car was straight steel and about a bus length long.  It was just as if someone just cut some iron ore out of a mountain, painted it grey and put some wheels on it. I used to fit 8 in there comfortably.  Well even when gas was 99 cents a gallon, it took between $20 to $25 to fill it up.  So one day, I was broke and put only $5 in there.  What the hell I do that for?  I had to put the car in life support every time I stopped at a red light or stop sign.  For those of you who have never driven a raggedy car, life support is when your car tends to cut off when you're idling so you have to put the car in either neutral or park and press the gas to keep the car from cutting off.  See me I did neutral because it was quicker, and plus I didn't know if the car would shift back out of park.  So I had to put my foot on both the brake and gas.  See I couldn't just rev up and then brake to shift, naw it would cut off between the shift b/c it takes forever for that little bit of gas to make it to the front of the damn car.  So needless to say I never put that little amount of gas in the car again.  My coordination skills ain't that good to be using two feet at the same time while driving.  So I say all that to day, that I'm sure that fool used up that $20 worth of gas just starting the car up.  I do miss that car though; Like the time I hit that brick wall and put a crack in the wall, but no mark on the car, or when the car ran hot and I put Gatorade in the radiator to get home,  or when the windshield wipers stop working during that rainstorm and the interior of the car started smoking and I had to pull over and wipe the mist off the windows every 5 minutes or the time I was driving down the interstate and the car went into went into 3-wheel motion because the whole driver's side wheel flew across I-65( rim and all).  Yeah, I never saw that tire again.  Those were the days.

 

I'm sure that everyone is aware of the coonery that Jesse Jackson did on TV not too long ago.  I must say I wasn't surprised. I either thought it was contrived or that he was just dumb and it was inevitable.  The reason I thought it might be contrived was in order to distance himself from Obama. I mean Jesse has been burned by a hot mike before so he KNOW not to do it again.  So, I thought he was thinking by Obama being black, he might scare certain folks because they might think that he's militant and want to kill all white people.  So I thought Jesse was doing Barack a favor by saying threatening statements about him to ease the fears of voters about their affiliation.  Once the rest of the tape came out the following week where it showed that he used some other colorful words, then I was resolved to the fact that he wasn't being strategic at all; he was just ignant( ignorant in English).  So I'm sure Jesse will be lying low for a couple of months until a while after the election then I'm sure he'll be vying for the spotlight again and just chasing civil rights cases like some lawyers chase ambulances.  I can see it now. He's at a press conference talking about how this man should be rewarded because someone was hanging nooses all around the job and the (expletive) works at a lasso factory or some (expletive) like that.

 

 

So I was watching CNN the other day and they were doing a story about the lady who was either arrested or given a ticket for cursing loudly at a Wal-Mart.  Apparently, this guy who was also a fire marshal, which somehow gives him the right to arrest people, heard this lady drop an f-bomb and approached her because she had kids and other kids were around.  So once he approached her, she got even more belligerent and he ended up apprehending her and what not.  Well the funny part to me, was when ANCHOR, meaning experienced journalist, on CNN said.  "So I guess it's getting to the point where we can't cuss in public".   Hold up!  Did he just say cuss?   So while I was choking on creamcicle, this guy calls in and states how it makes no sense that we can't say what we want to say in public and that it's our 2nd amendment right.  HUH?  Now I'm not a lawyer, but I do play one in the mirror from time to time (you have to entertain yourself when you live alone) and I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express two weeks ago, but what does an amendment about the right to bear arms have to do with you being able to curse in public.  Things that make you go hmm.  I guess that's why this segment was on at like 2pm b/c no one watches the news at that time. 

 

 

 This is an oldie, but goody.  I'm still cracking up 5 years later from this clip.  You have to watch this!    



 

 

Speaking of Obama, this is a powerful picture here.  Can't you just feel it?  Touch the screen with me and pray.

 

 

 

Photobucket

Dear Creator,

Please give this man the ability to reach his godlike potential.  As you've said, we are all created in your image, meaning we all have the ability to be gods.  Let him realize that the gifts of the universe are infinite and that all he must do is say it and it will be.  Give him the wisdom and regality bestowed upon us from the royalty of our ancestors and let his time as President be a Golden Age for our country.

 

Your ABC,

 

EDBIV

 

P.S.  I hadn't won the lottery yet!  What's up w/ that?

Posted at 8:25 pm by EB2281
Comments (7)  

Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Random Observation 4-29-08

  • Turning lights are already shorter than the lifespan of a pet squirrel at a redneck's house here in Houston, so to have these people with these slow ass cars is irritating.  I swear these folks are on the roads with these one-cylinder cars trying to drive.  Hell the car doesn't even have one cylinder, it has some damn hamster wheels under the hood and when the (expletive) press the gas pedal, 3 carrots pop out so the damn hamsters can run.  It might be a midget under the hood shoveling charcoal, talking about we need to get that Kingsford charcoal because it gets 80 miles to the sack. (Lord forgive me).  I swear Houston need to require 6 cylinders or above on the road so I won't have to wait 5 traffic light cycles to get 6 cars through an intersection.  

 

  • My brother and his wife have moved to Houston were living with me until they found a house and I swear living with my brother was a non-stop Easter egg hunt.  He is always losing something and has no idea where he had it and that's if he remembered using it.  He was upstairs one day watching TV and I was downstairs watching something else.  So I got up to use the bathroom, came back and the remote was missing.  So I was tearing up the room to look for it.  I asked my brother and he said didn't have it.  So after an hour, I found it in his room, NOT the room he was watching TV in.  While I was gone to the bathroom, he took the remote to make sure something was Tivo'd, went to his room, laid the remote on the bed, went upstairs and forgot about it .  Do you know how frustrating it is to lose the remote!  Man I could lose the keys to my car and won't feel as bad, and the whole time you know you refuse to get up and change the channel.  So you spend the energy that could be used to change the channel, looking for the remote.  All I must say is that I quite Easter egg hunting for a reason.

 

  • I swear every time I get my car washed, these damn pigeons in the parking garage, at work, (expletive) on my car.  I mean it never fails. You know that once a bird lets one loose on your car you have to get if off b/c the waste is very acidic and could damage the paint.  Well that's what I heard.   I never really wanted to hurt animals in my lifetime, but I really want to (expletive) those pigeon up. I did try to hit it one day, but I almost hit someone's car so let it go.  So then I thought about buying an air pistol and picking them off from my car window, but I calmed down after a coworker told me that they ran over one of them.  I felt better.  One down and 3 to go. 

 

  • There is a new Hooters near where I lived and I went there recently.  I was all excited because I hadn't been to Hooters in ages and I was very disappointed.  The food wasn't as good as it had been in the past and the waitress, although they were cute, had no ass.  I mean they just looked like 13-inch flat-screen TV's walking around.  I had the urge to play patty cake the whole time.  I have never seen so many members of the Nassatall club.  I think I need to be the new hiring manager.

 

  • My Ipod is broken and it's been hard to live without.  Would I be wrong if I left work on Thursday for a 9 am appointment to get my ipod fixed.  I mean I'm coming back and my job always expresses work/life balance.  Am I wrong?

 

Posted at 3:11 pm by EB2281
Comments (6)  

Friday, April 25, 2008
Random Observations 4-25-08

  • Some friends and I were gathering to go out about a month ago and I just threw on a button down shirt, some jeans and tennis shoes.  I didn't think anything of it.  We met up at my friend's house and then headed to mid-town Houston.  So we get to this spot and they won't let me in because I have on white tennis shoes, and I just saw them let another dude in with white shoes on.  Yes, the dude was white, but you know I don't even blame the bouncer for his decision.  I blame whoever this little gremlin is strutting around here singing about "Watch my shoes".  You always used to hear about some (expletives) fighting in a club because someone stepped on somebody shoes.   How do you actually have a reasonable expectation that your shoes are not going to be stepped on when your criteria for entering a club is if it's packed like a slave ship?  See I thought this whole stupid (expletive) had gone away and then this (expletive) comes with this shoe business again and now when folks see a brutha with white shoes they get nervous. They think I'm gonna set it off or something.  I can't even blame the man.  Now I can blame him for is saying my jeans are too baggy.   He could've stopped at the shoes and I would've been fine, but don't get on the jeans.  I know these dudes are wearing the low cut, nut hugging, see the date on the quarter jeans now, but I can't do it.  Hell naw!  I like to breathe and I like to be able to run when needed. If I start running in those jeans, the only think left on me by the time I make it to the car would be the waist ban.  I ain't trying to show all my stuff for free.  I'm saving that for when I lose my job.

 

  • The world is truly based on lookism, which is discrimination against or prejudice towards others based on their appearance.  I mean I'm sure you've noticed that people who are aesthetically pleasing seem to go a little faster in life I'm not saying it's right, but sometimes I understand.   I feel myself falling into it sometimes.  The other day I was somewhere and someone got an attitude with me and in my mind I was like as UGLY as you are you don't need to be getting an attitude with nobody.  You need to be happy so folks will talk to your ass.  Same thing with fat people.  You know you feel they are always supposed to be happy and jolly.  I wonder if that's why I'm always happy.  Damn, that epiphany just hurt my self-esteem.  I need a moment.

 

  • Well, you know this foreclosure business is running rampant right now, but what I don't understand is when these people leave their homes, they do all this vandalism.  I mean they put holes in walls, pour concrete down the toilet, and put water all on the floor.   How does yo ass get mad at the house because you can't pay your (expletive)?  What did the damn house do to you?

 

  • So, this past week a fellow coworker fell out in the lobby at work and had a seizure and another coworker was with him.  Once he fell to the ground, the person got around him and made sure he didn't hurt himself.  I truly think that is commendable.  I said all that to issue this warning.  I need you to go get yourself checked out and all if you plan to hang with me because if you fall out around me and I hear your head hit the floor like they say ole dude's did, then we both gonna be on the floor.  I will pass out with you.  I ain't not good in a crisis.  Yes, my job is emergency response but these are not shooting from the hip decisions I have to make.  So I'm just saying you need to get right because I ain't gonna be no help to you.  We both gonna wake up in the hospital together talking about, "What happened?"   Another warning, if you ride with me and something goes down, you need to beat me to my car b/c you got the 3 seconds between unlocking the door and starting up the car to get in.  See if you meet me there, then you don't have the proper amount of time and you have no choice but to ride on the hood or the trunk.  I can't let you ride on the roof because that's dangerous. I might get hurt if you fall through.  My life slogan is run and asks questions later.  See one example of this was one time I was at a Mardi Gras parade and I saw that there was a gap in the parade then a few minutes later, I see the band running, and then I see some people behind me running.  That's all I needed to see was, 5 or more people running in one direction.  I takes off towards the car, which was about half a mile away, but I didn't have the key.  I'm there for 5 mins and noticed that my ride ain't made it yet.  Concern finally sets in so I ease my way back to the parade and my ride is still there.  I asked him why he didn't run when they started shooting.   So he asked me if I ever heard any shooting. I'm like HELL YEAH I heard somebody shooting.  He said no one was shooting.  So I had to go back in my mind because I swore I heard some bullets flying somewhere, but then realized I didn't.  I just saw folks in the parade running.  He told me they were running because they were behind and need to catch up to the rest of the parade.  I didn't even feel bad because I stayed true to who I was.  RUN AND ASK QUESTIONS LATER.

     

Posted at 2:51 pm by EB2281
Comment (1)  

Sunday, April 20, 2008
Random Observation 04-20-08

  • Sometimes I wonder about folks at work.  Some people just do things that make you wonder about them.  For instance, this person at work was talking to me while standing at my desk.  Out of nowhere, while he was talking he stooped down a bit, reached back, lifted one leg and pulled his underwear out his ass.  I even heard a loud snap.  SNAP! He did all this without even missing a beat in his sentence, and I'm sitting there trying to hold my facial composure together as if I didn't see anything.   So I mentioned it to another coworker and she says he does it all the time.  I'm like damn.  Could you get you some drawers that fit?  So now, every time he does it, I walk to my coworker's desk and do the "Re-Run", because that's what he looks like when he lifts up his leg and pops his drawers.  I also have a couple of more male coworkers who wear their pants at their throats.  I'm just saying, if you want to wear your pants on your Adam's apple, at least get enough length so you won't have no ankle beaters.

 

  • There is a new type of frustration folks, and that is arguing with someone who doesn't speak English well.  I went to Sonic a few weeks ago for lunch since I was running errands, and I wanted to pick up something quick.  Sonic has these new Jr wraps.  So I ordered two of them.  I ordered the chili cheese frito one and the jumbo chicken wrap one.  So when I get the window the woman charges me for the regular size.  She says since I ordered the jumbo chicken one, that means I wanted the regular one, even though that's a type of wrap.  So I had to pull to the front so they can get my order straight.  So when she brings my ticket back she still charges me for a regular wrap on the chicken one.  So I explained to her even though it called jumbo chicken, it's still a jr wrap.  So she sends the manager out and her English wasn't so strong.  So I'm trying to convey to her that they have a jr wrap on their menu that has jumbo popcorn chicken in it, but since I keep saying jumbo, that's all that register and she keeps saying "No No No".   So after about 15 mins, I told her the next time I come,  I'll just ask for the chicken wrap and hopefully they'll get it, but it's to types of chicken.  I was there for 30 mins.

 

  • I'm sure you've heard about the raid in that ranch in Eldorado, Texas were this Mormon sect were staying.  It is a shame if they were forcing young girls to get married to old men, but I don't think I can blame them being polygamist.  Have you seen those women w/ the big hair and unibrows?  If that's all I had to choose from then I think I would need about 4 or 5 of them myself. You mean to tell me that there ain't one set of tweezers on that whole compound?  At least freestyle w/ some candles and duct tape!
mormon

 

        So this past week there was a mild earthquake in the Midwest.  Once I heard that, I was scared to death until I heard it was moderate.  The reason for this is that since I've been in emergency response for the last year, I've been privy to details about national preparedness that they just don't tell to everyone and just last year there was a drill and the scenario was based on a major earthquake around a fault near St. Louis.  This earthquake would cripple the nation.  I'm glad they don't tell everybody b/c I damn near (expletive) on myself when they told me.  What's also messed up is every time they do a drill on something it actually happens a little while later.  All these major catastrophes have had drills for them.  September 11th, Hurricane Katrina, South East Asia Tsunamis have all had drills not long before they happened.   I think the just need to stop having drills for (expletive) because it always seems to happen and they seem no more prepared from what I see.

 

Posted at 6:25 pm by EB2281
Comments (11)  

Monday, March 31, 2008
Random Observations 3-31-08

Ok so I have received some nasty emails about going 4 months with out writing anything.  Iím sorry.  There is no excuse.  Life hadnít been any more hectic than normal so Iíll try to better.  Now Iíll only go 2 months without writing. (smile)  Well itís time to look through the warped mind of someone who needs free therapy.

Iím sure by now that everyone has received their letter about the extra something that youíre supposed to get from Uncle Sam so that the US can jump-start the economy.   The problem with that is if you donít have kids and you make over a certain amount then you will not get anything.  What about the people who donít like kids like me?  Why should I suffer for not trying to overpopulate the world?  I think Iím doing the world a service here and Iím not being recognized for it.  I want my cheddar.  Anywho, the reason the guíment is only giving checks to people making under a certain amount is because they know that folks who do make over those specified amounts would not put the money back into the economy.  They will either save the money or pay off debts.  So you see that the government is counting on the poor to spend the money foolishly.  Never have I heard the governments so blatantly say that the nationís middle and lower class citizens are dumb and canít manage their money and now their banking on it.   So now, I see why the government gives out federal assistance to the poor, but not try to give them classes on management of funds and job skills. They openly complain that we need a better system, but secretly they donít want anything better.  They need these people to remain ignorant so that they can spend money.   You wonder why they let mainstream hip-hop preach the gospel of being materialistic.  As long as the masses remain ignorant and powerless than they have no reason to worry.  Itís synonymous with not letting the slaves learn to read.

We have a class here at my job that you have to take if youíre going to travel offshore.  This class shows you how to survive in the water in case of emergencies where you would have to evacuate the facilities or a helicopter.   So I have this woman who is new to the team, she was scheduled for the class that coming week, and we were talking about it.   Obviously, she didnít know that she had to get into the water, b/c I shocked the hell out of her once I said that.  So she cancelled the course because she just got a perm and didnít want to get her hair wet.  I was too done.  Then I was talking to other women about it and to my surprise, they were just as adamant about not getting into the water either after just getting a perm b/c they didnít feel like going back to the hairdresser.  What type of bull (expletive) is that? I pray for my sistuhs.

A couple of months ago we had to evacuate the building at work because of a strong natural gas smell in the building.  So in order to get to the designated safe zone, we had to pass through the parking garage and there was a dude in there smoking a cigarette all dramatic as hell as if it was his last cigarette. It reminded you of Cedric the Entertainer when he was on Kings of Comedy talking about smokers.  When we passed him, this jack ass says, ď Do yall smell gas?í  What the (expletive) is wrong w/ you?  Naw the whole building decided to take a walk.  I didnít even have time to tell him off b/c I was trying to get to safety and you know my life motto is run and ask questions later. 



 

Winter is officially over here in Texas.  Granted I thought it was over in February sometime.  I think in Houston we had 15 days of cold weather collectively.  Thatís a damn shame.   Since we had such a warm winter, I think itís gonna be Sahara hot here this summer.   Itís gonna be so hot that instead of Casual Fridays weíre gonna have Butt-Naked Fridays.   Personally, I donít think itís a good idea.

My company expresses that it wants its employees to have a good work-life balance.  Some people here just seem to take that a little too far.  The whole point of this is to keep work from encroaching on your personal life and not vice versa.  So I have a coworker who stayed at home b/c she needed to do laundry.   On another occasion, she left work early so she could go grocery shopping.  She knows Iím talking about her, but she needs it.    She my road dawg though and she knew I was gonna get her.

So I was in a meeting with some of the VPís of my region talking about volunteers for our emergency response teams.  Itís funny because before being placed in this role, I didnít know this type of person exists, where Iím the boss and I say whatís gonna happen.  I thought those people died out like 10 years ago.   Anyway, this one guy was like the Godfather in the meeting and we even saying what his boss should be doing.  Anyway, he told one of my bosses whoís about two levels above me to go check in this group for volunteers.  My boss proceeds to say that the group hasnít settled down from the re-org and he doesnít think itís a good time to ask.  Well the VP gives him a look like ď So youíre life is that good right now?Ē and instantly he back peddles and says that heíll get right on it.   Now thatís power! At that moment, I had a gay crush.  I got moist right there.

 

Posted at 3:10 pm by EB2281
Comment (1)  

Sunday, December 23, 2007
Random Observations 12-23-07

So this mortgage crisis has been killing the stock market.  It's getting to the point where it has everyone shell shocked.  My 2nd mortgage is due on the 15th of every month and like any normal person, I mail the check on the 15th especially since I have a 15 day grace period.  Why am I gonna give you my money early?  I got burned by doing that anyway.  Usually when I send the check, it takes them about 7 days to cash it, but the one time I sent it early it only took 3 days and I had check bouncing all over Houston.  But I digress; I'm guessing sending the check on the 15th is too late for my company since they start blowing up my cell phone at least 3 times a day starting the 17th.  They act as if my check is the only one keeping the lights on in that (expletive).  Calm down folks!  You should know me by now.  Damn!

I was in Chicago a couple of weeks ago for a summit.  Why would someone have a class in Chicago in December, I don't know? It was pleasant though.  It got all the way up to a warm and crisp 7 degrees one day.  Of course you know it was snowing and being that I have never lived more than 20 miles north or South of I-10 for more than 10 months of my life, this was like my 4th time seeing snow.  So you know I wanted to play in it.  I think 6inches of snow fell the first night and the snow in the field near our hotel looked pretty thick.  So I decided I was gonna dive in the snow.   Since my coworkers are drunk, they're just egging me on.   So I took a couple of feet head start and went belly first into the snow.   Ummm the snow wasn't as thick as I thought it was gonna be.  I had every last bit of wind knocked out of me and that couple with the shock of being cold wasn't good.  I just had to lay there until I could remember my phone number and address.   Let's just say that I'll be doing a depth test next time.

About two months ago I went to this barber shop near where I get my dreds twisted, and the barber shop was a little hood.  So I get in this dude's chair and he starts to ask me questions about how I would like my edge-up done.  So I proceed to answer and then he starts asking questions about like what clippers I prefer.  I guess he saw the look on my face because, he counters by saying that you need to ask people how they want things done, and then he gives this example.  "I am asking you because if I got to eat a girl's (expletive), I would like to know how she likes it before I go down there and do my thang".   If I could turn red, I think I would have.

I guess Michael Jackson wasn't truly lying.  I always knew there was a disease called vitiligo, but didn't think it was as bad as Mike describes it.  The following link is a story about a Chicago news anchor who has battled with the disease and his skin does turn really white.  Now that I have been aware of the magnitude it still doesn't excuse Mike though.  He still needs to tone it down because looking as his ass be hurting my retinas.  http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/conditions/12/18/turning.white.ap/index.html?iref=newssearch

You know how when you get your oil they put the little sticker in your window that has both the mileage for the next change and the date.  So I got my oil changed on 11-30-07 and on my sticker they set my next date for 2-30-08.  Crap! I let these folks work on my brakes yall!

I refused to do the amount of shopping that I have done in previous years so I won't have to deal with the headache, but here is my throwback blog about shopping: Random Observation: Shopping

 

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!

Posted at 1:26 pm by EB2281
Comments (2)  

Next Page